I Love Ronaldo

OK, perhaps it's surprised some people that I like football (soccer).

It's a tough love for a gay boy. As a kid I always felt I was a fake, as an adult, I always thought I liked it simply because the players are not physical freaks, but simply beautiful. But now I admit I actually do like to watch football matches.

I remember watching Manchester United as a kid. [I'm from Manchester, I was born within 2 miles of the stadium (Old Trafford), every single member of my family except my mother (Manchester City, god knows why) has been a Manchester United supporter, and I paid with my own money to get into the Stretford End (and walked to the stadium) as an 11 year old.] I remember watching MU beat Bayern Munich at Barcelona, and literally reach ecstasy as Manchester United achieved the "Triple" without having any American to explain why I was so (thanks Ghana) "gay."

Watching football when you support a team as a virtual religius obligation is almost an orgasmic experience. As a fan you have a major dopamine wash if Manchester United or England approach the goal. A goal by the other side is a major crash. Crack has nothing on the elation or depression of really supporting a footbal team!

I may be as gay as a gander, and sometimes have felt like I was supporting a team as a way to avoid gayness, but it ain't true. I love watching football. A 0-0 score has nothing to do with how much you enjoy a game. [And hell, England has made it to the last 8: I was at Fordham (former coach, Vince Lombardi) long enough to yell at the English Press, "winning isn't the main thing, it's the only thing." "we won" dammit.]

Meanwhile, my hero in Germany is Ronaldo. [He's way cuter than Ronaldinho, but not at Beckham's 10 rating.] They keep calling him fat. He equalled the most goals scored in the world cup. And they keep callin him fat.

Personally, I have always argued that "love handles" is an accurate discription. [You have to be able to grab something.] Ronaldo scores 2 goals (200% more than the USA), and still gets attacked. If he is fat, I am Mt. Everest.

Watch the next Brazil game. Ronaldo will become the World Cup's highest ever goal scorer.

Of course I want England to win. But, with the most important relationship of my life having been with a Brazilian, I feel justified in, like the rest of the world, adopting Brazil as my "second favorite team."

PS: The real problem is that Argentina is playing better, and looks sexier....